The 2016 election left most of us – of all political persuasions – feeling scared, isolated and uncertain. We step aside from our usual sex advice podcast to offer thoughts and strategies on how to find intimacy during these hard times.
My Sexual Breakthrough Moment
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In this episode, we share the sexual breakthrough moment of one podcast listener. Then we explore how you can create your own breakthrough moments to level up your sex life.
Here is the full letter that inspired this episode:
Dear Pleasure Mechanics:
First, Chris, I was very sorry to hear about your recent health scare. It sounded truly terrifying but I’m glad to hear that you’re doing better and your health is back under control.
I’m writing to you two because over the past few years I’ve been interested in learning more about prostate stimulation, but my exploration has pretty fruitless-until recently, and there isn’t anybody else I can talk to about this subject.
Like I said, I’ve read a fair amount about the subject, listened to your podcasts on prostate stimulation, and even bought an Aneros. I tried following the instructions, but every time I inserted it (usually in bed, on my side with one leg pulled towards my stomach), and tried to relax, nothing happened. I settled into a pattern; every few months, I would make an attempt or two, nothing would happen, and I’d give up for a while. I bought a newer Aneros model, one with a more comfortable coating, but still no breakthroughs.
Very recently, I thought it might be better to try a finger. I bought some latex gloves, lubed up my index finger, and tried to gently insert it. This time I tried standing up instead of being in bed. I more or less struck out the first two times, but a couple of days ago, by really concentrating on syncing my breathing and “bearing down,” I was able to pull the finger in. By flexing it forward, I was able to just touch my prostate, but only barely, and the position wasn’t that comfortable. I was going to give up again, but for whatever reason I told myself “no, you made progress today, and we’re going to keep trying!”
I got my Aneros, lubed it up, and began to insert it, using the same technique as my finger. I suspect the insertion of my finger warmed the area up, and over the course of a minute, I was able to slide it in. Instead of just trying to breathe, I put on a video of an erotic massage and began to masturbate. After about a minute, I could feel the Aneros slide further within me, until it must have made contact with my prostate. When it did, I looked down at my cock and it felt…different, the hardness seemed to extend into my body (I know you two have pointed out how much of the penis is internal but I never felt that sensation before). My cock, already hard, began to get much harder than I could ever remember and its head was much more swollen than usual. Things began to blur but even though I usually masturbate “dry,” I grabbed some lube, covered my cock, and really began to pump, focusing much more on my cockhead than I usually do. I honestly can’t recall being that turned on before. I tried to bear down about every five seconds and I could feel the Aneros milking the prostate. And then after a minute-I got some “milk,” as fluid began to seep out of my cock. At first I thought I was coming but after the first shot of fluid my cock somehow managed to get harder, not softer. It became difficult not to vocalize and I began to groan, and over the next ten to fifteen minutes, I managed to have at least ten more eruptions of fluid, my cock staying in that ultra-hard state. I really didn’t know what to think, each release of fluid felt wonderful, but in a very different way than a “standard” orgasm. The sensation was much more sustained and rather than draining it seemed to energize me.
Even though it seemed like I must have completely emptied my prostate, I decided to try again the next night. Insertion was a little more difficult (I should have warmed up more) but again I was able to get the Aneros pretty far in, and I lubed up and began stroking my cock quicker than the previous time. I couldn’t believe it-not only was I able to get just as hard as before, but the sensations, both from my cock and my prostate, were even more intense. Every time fluid seeped out, it just added fuel to the fire. I really just put caution to the wind-stroking, squeezing and grunting,-it was primal in the best sense of the world. When I was finished I was completely drenched; I had managed to break through and have two terrific experiences in as many days.
I’m sorry for the length of this message, but like I wrote earlier, I’ve been trying to get to this point for years, and I don’t have anybody in my circle who I feel comfortable talking about this subject. Please know that your podcasts and advocacy for prostate massage, as well as for more attention to male sexuality in general kept me interested in the subject. In your podcast on hand jobs both of you talked about the importance of men being able to revel in their arousal for their own sake, separate from penetration. I usually just stroke long enough to get hard, often in the dark, and then finish myself off in other ways, so it really felt empowering to stand up, feel the fullness in my butt and the stimulation of my prostate, and to see my cock, already erect, get much harder and then to see fluid shoot out, multiple times. Even after the pleasure subsided there was a real sense of accomplishment, totally removed from any shame or disgust. So I’m glad I didn’t give up, and in a few days time I’m going to try and put what I’ve learned to good use and hopefully have an even better experience.
I have just a couple of quick questions, again thanks for indulging me for this long.
1) when I was masturbating my balls also got very aroused and pulled close to my body, but I really wasn’t able to do much in the way of stimulating them. I don’t think you’ve done a podcast on touching the balls but if you have any tips that would be great.
Click here for tips on how to touch balls!
2) In my case it seems like I really needed penile stimulation combined with the Aneros to get thing going; before when I just would just insert it and try to breathe nothing much happened. I know everyone’s body is different, so there’s no reason to think that prostate stimulation combined with working the cock is a lesser experience, is there?
Midlife Sexual Renaissance with Pamela Madsen
This episode has been retired.
Pamela Madsen is the author of “Shameless: How I Ditched the Diet, Got Naked and Found True Pleasure and Somehow Got Home In Time To Cook Dinner” She writes for Huffington Post and offers coaching sessions online and leads Back to the Body retreats for women all around the world.
In this episode, we covered:
- One woman’s path to erotic reawakening
- Baby steps towards midlife sexual revolutions
- Why menopause can be an erotic gift
- The biological rhythms of female sexuality
- A peek behind the scenes at an international sex retreat
Find Pamela online at BackToTheBody.org
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