Recently in an interview we talked about our parenting style as “Pleasure Positive Parenting” and it quickly became a household joke – because after 15 years living and loving together as “The Pleasure Mechanics” there isn’t a part of our life that is untouched by our engagement with Pleasure, Joy and Connection as a primary lens for all we do. Pleasure Positive Eating. Pleasure Positive Lifestyle. Pleasure Positive Politics. All of it, all the time.

When we started The Pleasure Mechanics in 2006, we had only been dating a few months, but we knew for sure that our shared commitment to Pleasure, and our devotion to Love was steering the ship.

Ready to explore pleasure with us? Tune into our podcast, Speaking Of Sex and be sure to join our free online course, The Erotic Essentials

Pleasure Positive, At Your Service, Since 2006.

Feeling overwhelmed? Sometimes we need to zoom out to gain a little perspective.

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You are home. You belong right here, right now. We love you.

Please read one or more of the following responses from our community out loud, in whatever voice and style feels right for you. 

Please go slowly and pause between passages.

We will be mixing and blending as many voices as we receive into the podcast episode where we share and respond to these survey responses.

By submitting a recording you are consenting to your voice appearing on Pleasure Mechanics podcasts, social media, online courses or any other media type. You will not be identified nor compensated in any form. 

Thank you for your participation in the Pleasure Mechanics community! We hope this community experiment generates a meaningful episode for us all. To record any other message or question for the show, click here.

Shame Slayers Responses To Record

“My shame told me I was wrong, no matter what I wanted or how or how much or with whom. The shame oozed out of every corner of my upbringing“

“It sounds so simple, but practicing self-compassion has helped me tremendously. My previous tendency was to become ashamed of the shame I felt. I still feel shame, enough that it is challenging for me to talk with my loving partner about my inability to orgasm with him, but when it arises, I no longer turn against myself for feeling it. I’m not sure what “slaying” looks like for me in any final sense, but I am not as haunted by shame as I once was.“

“I avoided sex for a really long time because of enormous body shame and shame around performance/ skills (because of lack of experience). Then felt tremendous shame about being a “virgin”- felt like I was treated as though I was immature, incomplete, or young by peers. It became a self-perpetuating shame cycle“

“I’m just surprised by how previous sexual partners, both the casual encounters and people I felt deeply connected with, would pass subtle judgments on or appraisals of my orgasms, body and love of sex in a way that made me feel like just who I was was threatening to them. Because of this, it is hard for me to have full body orgasms with partners, the kind of orgasms I can have on my own,  and this is a source of shame for me.“

“Accessing Sex Positive material on the internet and podcasts such as Pleasure Mechanics have given me more insight into my own sexuality which helps me see myself as more ‘normal’, whilst increasing my awareness of the dynamics of privilege, gender, sexuality, and patriarchy“

“Learning that I get to choose what works best for me and my life and relationships instead of having to follow societal scripts“

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Shame is one of the most common sexual struggles. Almost all of us struggle with some form of sexual shame – from body shame to faith-based shame, from kink shame to genital shame, almost everyone holds some shame. Shame tells us we are broken, sinful, gross or otherwise unworthy of love. Shame tells us if we were to be truly ourselves, we wouldn’t belong. Shame lies to us, and holds us all hostage in an invisible web-like grip of cultural myth and misinformation.

It’s time to slay the shame. In this encore episode of one of our most popular episodes ever, originally published in 2015 as episode 74, we explore sexual shame, think about where it really comes from, and then share a five step plan to slay your shame and find new freedom.

Participate in our Shame Slayers Survey here!

Ready to explore more shame-slaying, fear-busting, doubt-dissolving resources? Join the Pleasure Pod, show your support for the show, and unlock members only resources!

Here at PleasureMechanics, we are dedicated to the erotic liberation of all humans. Liberation means freedom from systems of domination and harm. You can read more about our guiding values here.

As we create a world with more safety and pleasure for us all, we believe we all must generate as much care, justice and support as possible for those most in need.

We make monthly, annual and one-time donations to a wide range of community organizations.

We encourage you to give in accordance to your ability, and to identify organizations whose missions resonate with your values.

If you wish to join us in our giving, here are just some of the organizations we support with financial donations. If you make a donation to any of these incredible organizations, please drop a line and let us know so we can share a virtual high-five and send you a gift in the mail if you wish!

• Third Wave Fund Third Wave Fund is the only activist fund led by and for women of color, intersex, queer, and trans folks under 35 years old in the US.
• SisterSong SisterSong’s mission is to strengthen and amplify the collective voices of indigenous women and women of color to achieve reproductive justice by eradicating reproductive oppression and securing human rights.
• Kite’s Nest : Kite’s Nest builds the collective capacity of young people to bring about healing, personal transformation, social connection, and systemic change.
• Newburgh LGBTQ+ Center Our local Queer refuge – find the one closest to home and give generously.
• Scarleteen Inclusive sex education for all!
• The Effing Foundation An umbrella fund to reduce sexual shame and normalize conversations around human sexuality by fostering sex-positive art and education.
• Mobile Homecoming Our community of spiritual practice centering Black Feminist lineage and embodied principles