Pleasure Mechanics

Beginner’s Erotic Mind

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Think about the excitement and curiosity you brought to your first consensual sexual experiences – those first kisses, first times seeing people naked, first sexual encounters. The awe and wonder of these moments might be palpable in your memories. 

Now think about seeing a long-term partner naked. Doesn’t quite have the same charge, right? 

To maximize the experience of enjoying each sexual encounter, we can cultivate a Beginner’s Erotic Mind. This approach gives us access to experiencing each sexual encounter as new and fresh. 

This isn’t just a concept, it is truth. Every moment is unique and you and your partner are always changing – so cultivating a Beginner’s Erotic Mind invites us to practice meeting them anew each time.

We share this approach and many more simple yet effective guided practices for you to experience more pleasure, presence and passion in our Mindful Sex course.

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Cultivating this attitude of Beginner’s Erotic Mind allows us to approach new erotic experiences without preconceived judgments or worrying about “not doing it right.” If you approach a new sexual experience with Beginner’s Erotic Mind, it becomes ok not to know what to expect or not know exactly how to do things. Many people get hung up worrying about performing in bed, rather than experiencing what is actually happening. Practicing Beginner’s Erotic Mind gives you access to focusing on the experience unfolding in front of you in real-time. 

“The richness of present-moment experience is the richness of life itself. Too often we let our thinking and our beliefs about what we “know” prevent us from seeing things as they really are.” – Jon Kabat-Zinn

Join us in cultivating Beginner’s Erotic Mind as you explore the Mindful Sex practices in our Mindful Sex course and see what pleasures and rich experiences become possible in your sex life.

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Dual Zones of Erotic Stimulation

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Discover how to use your hands, mouth, toys and full body to create dual zones of erotic stimulation to amp up the pleasure, erotic interest and arousal.

Ready to master erotic touch? Join our Erotic Touch Mastery online course and let us guide you, stroke by stroke, in leveling up your sex life.

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Just like rubbing your belly and patting your head at the same time, offering your lover dual zones of stimulation requires focus, attention and confidence. In this episode we map out lots of possibilities for creating dual zones of erotic stimulation, and strategies to get started keeping all of that sensation in sync an

Feeling overwhelmed at the thought of creating dual zones of erotic touch stimulation? That makes sense! It can be enough to focus on giving your lover one kind of erotic touch, let alone more than one at once. As you gain more mastery over erotic touch skills, touching your lover in more than one place at once will become easier. Remember that erotic touch, just like any other physical skill like playing a new sport or instrument, takes time and repetition to master.

Ready to boost your sexual confidence, master erotic touch skills and lavish your lover in erotic pleasure? Join our Erotic Touch Mastery online course and let us guide you, stroke by stroke, in leveling up your sex life.

Click here to enroll in Erotic Touch Mastery, our top bestselling courses in one highly discounted bundle!

Perineum Pleasures

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Discover the powerful pleasure potential of the perineum in this podcast episode, where Speaking of Sex hosts Chris and Charlotte Rose share all about the perineum, why it is so important in pelvic anatomy, and how to stimulate the perineum for more pleasure, arousal and relaxation.

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Learn all of our erotic touch techniques for the perineum – and every other square inch of your lover’s body – in our stroke-by-stroke video guides. Enroll now in Erotic Touch Mastery and get started tonight!

Ready to master the art of erotic touch and lavish your lover with pleasure?

Click here to enroll in Erotic Touch Mastery, our two bestselling courses in one bundle!

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Between the genitals and the anus is the perineum. This is a highly sensitive area that should not be overlooked, as it is an intersection of pelvic muscles, blood flow and nerve pathways. Chris loves the pelvic floor musculature so much they have it tattooed on their back! Check out their pelvic floor tattoos here

On all bodies, perineal stimulation can relax the very common chronic muscular constriction that limits blood flow to the genitals and reduces sexual sensation. Perineal stimulation also adds all new layers of sensation and interest to many different kinds of sexual play.

External prostate milking can be done via the perineum. You need deep pressure to reach the prostate through the sling of muscles that comprise the pelvic floor.

To discover how to add perineum stimulation as part of foreplay, erotic massage, fingering, handjobs, anal play and prostate massage, check out all of the stroke-by-stroke videos in our Erotic Touch Mastery online courses.

Sexual Confidence

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Sexual confidence is a feeling state that so many of us want more of, but it can feel elusive or out of reach to attain. How do we build sexual confidence? What does sexual confidence look and feel like – for you specifically?

In this podcast episode we tackle the elusive question of gaining sexual confidence – and why we might want to always be turning towards vulnerability and awkwardness in order to build new arenas of confidence and growth.

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We have been teaching the art of erotic touch since 2006 and believe learning full body couples massage is one of the best investments you can make in your erotic life.

We’ve taught tens of thousands of lovers how to touch with more skill & confidence. Are you next?

Click here to enroll in Erotic Touch Mastery, our two bestselling courses in one bundle!

Erotic Grief

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Erotic Grief includes a vast range of experiences of erotic loss, longing and loss of belonging. Erotic grief includes the grief of sexual assault and abuse, but also medical loss and trauma, infertility and reproductive health, and not only the loss of belonging due to shame and fear of coming out as our true selves, but what we might lose when we do dare to be more authentic. Erotic Grief is a vast category of what researchers call “disenfranchised grief” – grief that has no formal social support and often goes unnamed and unrecognized, yet carried with us often for a lifetime.

In this tender and heartful podcast episode, we discuss Erotic Grief and how we might develop more strategies to honor, support and tend to the grief we all experience in life.

Here are more support and resources around Grief

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In general we talk so little about grief in our culture, and we almost never talk about the experience of erotic grief. This already tender experience may be compounded by the experience of aloneness that pervades a subject as private as any loss around our erotic or sexual selves.

Grief is a universal experience. While there is a vast spectrum of how we experience grief in our lifetimes, what is also true is that we all experience this emotional experience. And we often feel so alone in that experience, when in truth so many other people are grieving right along with us in silence and isolation.

What is important is that we bring some tender attention to this private terrain. Many of us may not have named, or had enough support around these issues. When we make caring space to feel these uncomfortable emotions, to honor and witness these stories of ours, we can begin to allow some integration of these parts of ourselves and our life experience. We discuss how we can provide support and be there for other people we care about who may be going through challenging and private erotic grief. 

Once we have made space to honor and hold our grief, we can begin to find our way back to the erotic aliveness that may be available to us on the other side of this experience. We explore being able to hold the both/and of joy and grief, death and aliveness and make space for our full spectrum of feeling, and explore the erotic nature of grief itself.

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