Kissing is one of the most basic and essential erotic acts. Yet it is not as simple as locking lips – there are many ways to kiss and learning how to kiss your lover in the way they like to be kissed is well worth it. Once you master the basics of how to kiss you’ll be able to pay more attention to each intimate moment with your lover and enjoy the intimacy of each kiss you share.
Some people like small tender kisses, other people like big wet kisses with lots of tongue. Explore the whole range with each new lover to discover exactly how to kiss that specific person for maximum pleasure. Here are a few general tips on how to kiss with more skill and confidence.
How To Kiss
- Here is a classic move to initiate a kiss. Start by making long eye contact, then look at the person’s lips, and back to their eyes. Lean forward slightly and then pay close attention to their cues. Do they smile and lean forward? Or do they hesitate and pull back? This is a pretty great way to know if the person wants to kiss you.
- Take it slow. Start with a soft kiss on just the lips, or maybe even the cheek, forehead, or wrist. This helps establish contact and turn up the heat. Being a tease is WAY sexier than being over eager.
- Don’t be overeager. Let the kiss “bloom” – kiss the lips first, and if the kiss wants to heat up your lover’s mouth will open to you, never shove your tongue in.
- Let your lover kiss you, receive the kiss rather than be desperate and take over. Kissing is like a dance where your lips and tongue meet, you want to play on that edge and not be too pushy.
- If you can, use your hands on the rest of your lover’s body. Gently rest your hands on the shoulders, play with the hair, wrap one arm around the lower waist, etc. Make it a full body experience.
- Take breaks. if the kiss was good and there is chemistry, you can always start up again. don’t feel the need to kiss for minutes on end all the time
- Follow your lover’s lead. Most people kiss how they want to be kissed, so pay attention to what your lover is doing and return that style.
How do you know what you authentically desire? Dr. Jack Morin, author of The Erotic Mind, suggests that we use our own Peak Erotic Experiences, our sexual “highlight reel” to look for clues about who we are as erotic beings. He has found that what worked best for you in the past is very likely to work again in the future. This simple but powerful tool puts you in control of naming what turns you on most authentically.