Pleasure Mechanics — Page 80 — Pleasure Mechanics

In Sickness and In Health

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In this episode, we explore what it means to take care of your lover when sickness or illness strikes. In many of our wedding vows, we commit to loving one another “in sickness and in health, in good times and bad.” But what does this really look like in day to day life? And how does tending to one another lead to a better sex life in the long run?

In this episode we explore:

How can we receive and give care in hardest of times, most unsexy times?
What does partnership and kinship look like vs. relationship based on lust
When you are ill or injured and vulnerable can you ask for help?
How does it feel to offer love and devotion when you are the caregiver?
What does it mean to deal with your lover’s body in it’s most unerotic state?
How do you then transition back return to an erotic relationship

Pegging and Prostate Play

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Pegging is when a female wears a strap-on dildo to anally penetrate a man. The term “pegging” was coined by Dan Savage’s audience. Previously, terms like “bend over boyfriend” were used to describe the same act.

There is nothing new about pegging. Versions of strap-on dildos have been depicted in erotic art for thousands of years! In recent years, however, more men are coming out about their desire for anal penetration. As more men openly discuss the pleasures of pegging, it gives other men permission to explore this sex act and discover just how orgasmic it can be.

Pegging and prostate stimulation go hand in hand. Before you go all the way with pegging, it is essential to explore anal penetration with fingers and small toys. Fingers are the best tools for anal penetration and prostate stimulation.

Many men report that prostate stimulation leads to the strongest, most intense orgasms they have ever experienced. In this interview with Cooper S. Beckett, he describes his first prostate orgasm, and experience he says totally changed his sex life forever! Cooper reports that once you “level up” your orgasms with prostate stimulation, every other orgasm you experience can be more intense.

So if you are curious about pegging and prostate play, tune in to this podcast by hitting the “play” button at the top of this page.

Ready to discover the power of prostate orgasms for yourself? Check out the Prostate Massage Mastery Online Course now!

Cooper is the founder of LifeontheSwingset.com & host of its swinging & polyamory podcast. He speaks and teaches classes on pegging, swinging, polyamory, play parties, and non-monogamy. He has written two books.My Life on the Swingset: Adventures in Swinging & Polyamory & a new novel about swinging, A Life Less Monogamous. Use the code “pleasure” to get 10% off the new book!

You can get his book My Life on the Swingset: Adventures in Swinging & Polyamory as a FREE audiobook on Audible.com with your free trial membership. Click here for your FREE audio book!

The Reromanticizing Exercise

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Has the romance faded from your relationship? Want to feel those sparks of new romance again? Just want to feel more love and care in your life?

The Reromanticizing Exercise comes from the classic relationship guide Getting The Love You Want by Harville Hendrix, Ph.D. First published in 1988, this book has been a massive New York Times bestseller and a classic guide for relationship self-help and marital therapy. This simple yet effective exercise is a tool for getting clear about what kind of love you want to receive and how you can best give your partner the love they crave.

Harville and Helen Hendrix went on to develop Imago Therapy, used by tens of thousands of therapists all around the world. You can learn more about their work here.

You can get an audiobook copy of Getting The Love You Want for FREE with your free trial at Audible.com.

Here are the 5 basic steps for The Reromanticizing Exercise:

Identify what your partner is already doing that pleases you. Make a list, being as specific as possible, completing this sentence: I feel loved and cared about when you…
Recall the most romantic stage of your relationship and think about what you used to do but no longer do very often. Make a list, being as specific as possible, completing this sentence: I used to feel loved and cared about when you…
Think about caring and loving behaviors that you have always wanted but have never asked for. Make a list, being as specific as possible, completing this sentence: I would like you to…
Now combine your lists, and think about which gestures are most important to you. Label each behavior from 1-5, 1 being very important and 5 being least important.
Share your list with your partner. Now aim to do 1-2 gestures for one another every day for 2 months.

You’ll find this and more relationship exercises in the book, Getting The Love You Want by Harville Hendrix, Ph.D.

Male Bisexuality

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Male bisexuality is all too often perceived as a halfway step to full gay identity. This myth silences far too many men and creates shame around very real desires. While female sexuality is perceived to be more “fluid” and “flexible” than male sexuality, many men experience some range of bisexual desires.

Male bisexuality can range from full “50/50” bisexual interest in both sex and relationships with men and women, or simply an interest in occasional threesomes with other men. What is essential is that we give men permission to express their bisexuality and explore these desires without shame or guilt.

In this interview with outspoken sex writer and podcaster Cooper S. Beckett, we explore male bisexuality and how we can support men in expressing their authentic sexual desires.

We cover:

Why male bisexuality is not taken seriously as a sexual orientation
The range of male bisexual desires
How to start exploring male bisexuality
The confounding intersection of bisexuality and monogamy
How sex positive culture can become more supportive of male bisexuality

Cooper S. Beckett is the founder of LifeOnTheSwingset.com and the author two great books about swinging and polyamory. Click here to check out our interview with Cooper about swinging, episode #172.

Powerful Submission

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Erotic submission doesn’t have to be about being denigrated, humiliated or punished. It doesn’t have to look like cowering at the feet of your dominant partner or crying out in pain. It can include any and all of these things, if that pleases you. But it can also be about standing in your full power, feeling potent and courageous. It can be a glorious demonstration of your strength and endurance. In one of the endless twists and turns of kinky sex, erotic submission can help you feel the most powerful you’ve ever felt!

In a previous podcast, Charlotte explored one aspect of male submission: the idea of men taking a submissive domestic role in order to serve a dominant female partner.

We received a lot feedback after this episode, mainly from men who desired erotic submission but didn’t identify with the “sissymaid” role or crave domestic service as part of their kinky play. Some of these men worried they were not the “right” kind of submissive or didn’t fully “get” what male erotic submission was all about.

On this episode, Chris explores another aspect of male submission: noble, powerful submission. This type of erotic submission has a very long history (including the root of the word chivalry!) and is just as valid as any other. In fact there are endless varieties of erotic submission to fit any personality style and constellation of desires! There is no “right” style of erotic submission: only what is right for you.

Noble, powerful submission brings full masculine power and strength into the role of erotic submission. Training in order to serve a higher power is a core part of the masculine warrior archetype. Think of a knight training in order to serve his beloved queen. Think of an athlete, glistening with sweat, ready to perform in order to help his team win. Imagine an endurance test where a wicked dominant woman is subjecting you to all kinds of sensation play, seeing just where your breaking point might be.

This kind of submission is all about developing more power, strength and courage so you can endure more intense tests of your grit and might. Explore it for yourself and see if it excites you!

Ready to explore kinky sex? Check out the Kinky Sex Mastery Course!