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In response to a caller’s advice about changing sex positions, we explore what a sex position can and can not change about your erotic experience. Does the position you use change who is in control of your pleasure? Does it mean you might last longer in bed or orgasm more quickly? What can a sex position influence, and what is all about attitude?

Here is a transcript from the call:

Hi Pleasure Mechanics. You can call me Tom. I just listened to your podcast on men lasting longer, and I noticed you did not include so far as I heard a discussion of the position these people were using. I guess you just assume that the man was on top because if the man is on the bottom she can relax much more than he would if he is on the top seeing as how there’s a lot of muscle tension. Holding yourself up, thrusting and that all contributes to the premature ejaculation Why not suggest that the woman be on top and be cognizant of how he is doing in other words, change places. So that it’s the woman who’s running the f*** as they say. and takes also the responsibilities for both persons pleasure. I’m pretty sure that the man would last quite a bit longer if he doesn’t have all that responsibility. Thanks, bye.

This call was in response to episode 2: How To Last Longer In Bed. While changing positions may help men last longer in bed, the themes in this call are important to reflect on whether or not you want to learn how to maintain longer erections.

A specific sex position does not guarantee a specific erotic experience. Each position creates different emotions, physical dynamics and arousal for different people. So while experimenting with new positions is always a fun way to change things up, it doesn’t create any fixed outcome.

Yet the question of “who is in control of the fuck” is a great one no matter what position you are in. All too often, it is assumed that the partner doing the penetration (usually the man) should be in control. But receiving penetration doesn’t mean being passive, and it is vital for everyone to learn how to be an active receiver.

It is also important to differentiate between being passive and being relaxed. You can be very relaxed while receiving and still be an active erotic partner. We believe it is essential to “take turns” once in awhile when it comes to giving and receiving in bed. The opportunity to simply relax and receive stimulation without having to reciprocate is a delicious erotic experience. Oral sex and erotic massage are both great activities to practice “one way sex.

Thanks to Tom for calling in with this response to the podcast episode. You can record your own message, question or advice to be shared on the podcast by clicking here.