Questions About Growing Up & Learning About Sex

• Where did you learn about sex when you were a kid?
• What were you taught about masturbation as a child?
• Who was one of your first celebrity crushes? What attracted you to them?
• What is something you believed as a kid that you now know is a myth?
• What were you taught about love and marriage?
• How did your family talk about LGBTQ+ issues?
• Have you ever been to or been in a pride parade?
• Who was one of the first queer people you met?
• How did your family deal with conflict?
• What big emotions were safe in your family? Which were not allowed?

Questions About Sexuality, Culture & Identity

• What do you think an ideal sex culture would look like?
• Do you think humans are meant to be monogamous? Why or why not?
• What words do you use to describe your gender identity and sexual orientation? What other words have you used in your life?
• What do you think should be included in all sex education for kids? for teens? for adults?

Questions About Love & Relationships

• What drew you to me when we first met?
• What values are most important to you in our relationship?
• What is your love language and what are some examples of how you most feel loved?
• What is one of your favorite memories of our first few years?
• What about our relationship are you most grateful for?
• What would the chapters in The Story Of Us be named?
• What songs would be on the soundtrack of your life story? our love story?

Questions About Fantasies & Desires

• How do you think about the difference between Fantasies and Desires?
• What is one thing you find hot in fantasy but don’t actually want to explore in real life?
• What is one thing you want to experience more of in real life?
• What is something you’ve always wanted to try but never had the chance?
• What is one of your Peak Erotic Experiences?
• What do you think is one of the hottest scenes in a movie and why?
• What Do You Want Right Now?

Questions To Ask Before An Erotic Encounter

• What are you into?
• Is there anything I can do to make you feel safe?
• Is there anything in your past you want me to know about?
• Do we need a safe word?
• How will we be practicing safe sex?
• What does this mean to you?
• Do you want this?

Questions To Ask During An Erotic Encounter

• Will you tell me when this feels just right?
• Would you like me to go deeper/slower/faster or is this good?

Questions To Ask After An Erotic Encounter

• What were your favorite parts?
• What were you aware of?
• Did you feel overwhelmed at any point?
• What was the most exciting moment for you?
• Was there anything you wanted more of but didn’t ask for?
• What could have made it even better?

Great questions are just one part of erotic communication – which includes a whole set of skills to tune into your own body, know what you want and how to ask for it!

Because erotic communication is one of the most important skills for sexual fulfillment and healthy relationships, we have put together an interactive resource guide on erotic communication – available here or as part of a Pleasure Pod membership. Membership includes our resource pod on Erotic Communication as just one of the many curated resources for Pleasure Pod Members!