Pleasure Mechanics

Labia

The labia are part of the vulva (the external female genitals) and are anatomical homologues of the male scrotal skin. The labia cover and protect the sensitive clitoris, but are also part of the overall sexual system.

There are two sets of labia, inner and outer. Also referred to labia majora and labia menora. The labia come in all shapes, sizes and colors. Sometimes the inner lips are much larger than the outer lips, or vice versa. It is a myth that the outer labia are always larger than the inner labia.

There is a very wide range of normal labia, from tiny to big labia, short to long labia, pink to brown labia. The labia we see in most pornography does not reflect the diversity of labia that are perfectly normal, healthy and beautiful.

Many women grow up believing their genitals are deformed in some way, when all within the beautiful range of normal, healthy genitals. Genitals are just as diverse as the human face – we all have similar parts that can look radically different.

Honoring and celebrating all genitals is an essential part of creating a sexually healthy culture.

Vagina

The vagina is one part of the female sexual system – the muscular opening in the female pelvis, from the external genitals (the vulva) to the cervix, the opening to the internal female reproductive system. The vagina is an important part of the female sexual system, allowing pleasurable forms of penetration with fingers, toys, penises and other body parts. Internal stimulation is a pleasurable part of many women’s sexual experience. Many women, however, do not experience orgasm through penetration alone. For maximum pleasure, pair vaginal penetration with clitoral stimulation or anal play.

The entrance to the vagina, called the entroitus, is a good place to linger. Don’t rush past this sensitive opening to get inside.

The vagina itself isn’t very sensitive, but of course internal stimulation can be highly pleasurable. You can reach the roots of the clitoris that extend back into the body. On the top wall of the vagina, towards the clitoris, you can find the female prostate, sometimes called the g-spot or skene’s gland. Stimulating this area can lead to female ejaculation.

The deepest part of the vagina is the cervix. Sometimes deep penetration can stimulate the cervix in a pleasurable way, other times it can be uncomfortable to touch this area.

And remember: the vagina is the inside sheath, the vulva is the external genitals.

Female Ejaculation

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Female Ejaculation

In this episode, we clear up common myths and share the facts about female ejaculation.

Female ejaculation is a normal, healthy expression of female sexuality. For some women it can be highly pleasurable. But it is not a sign of a more “enlightened” sexuality or even more pleasure – it is just one of many kinds of sexual response!

If you want support as you explore female orgasm, arousal and ejaculation, please join our private community! Be part of a fabulous group of men and women from all around the world, having honest and supportive conversations about sex!

What Is Female Ejaculation?

Female Ejaculation is the expulsion of fluid, through the urethra, during female arousal. Female ejaculation may or may not occur at the same time as an orgasm, but normally high levels of arousal are needed to create the female ejaculatory response.

Women who ejaculate often report an intensely pleasurable feeling of release, and a different spectrum of sensations from their non-ejaculatory orgasms. Some women ejaculate almost every time they are highly aroused, other women ejaculate very infrequently.

Amount of ejaculate can vary from a small squirt or trickle to a large gush. The most recent research concludes that ejaculation and gushing are distinct sexual processes. Many women confuse the sensations of ejaculation with urination, mostly because they are unfamiliar with the concept of ejaculation or have been shamed by a previous lover.

Female ejaculation usually happens by stimulating the g-spot, the common name for the female prostate. For complete guidance on g-spot stimulation techniques, check out our Foreplay Mastery Course.

 The Historical Debates over Female Ejaculation

Female Ejaculation has only recently come out of the closet. While first studied by physicians in the 17th century, and documented in Sexology papers ever since, the knowledge and acceptance of female ejaculation was omitted from Western medical practice until very recently.

Meanwhile, many women have been confused and distressed about their own ejaculatory response- in the passions of sex they feel themselves (or their partners notice) a gush of fluid coming from the urethra. Without knowledge of female ejaculation, the natural assumption is that the fluid is urine. Often this triggers a shame response over having “wet the bed,” but perhaps while cleaning those sheets the women noticed that it didn’t smell like urine, and was not yellow like urine.

Just imagine if men did not know about ejaculation, and there was a cultural silence about it. Young boys would be terrified of masturbation, men would be flocking to the doctors for a diagnosis on the strange white substance coming from their urethra.

The Truth About Female Ejaculation and the Female Prostate

In recent years, sex educators have been on a mission to spread information and normalize female ejaculation and the female prostate. Several books, films and websites now feature female ejaculation. The result is more and more women having the aha! moment of realizing all those times they felt the urge to urinate during arousal or all those times they gushed was actually an experience of female ejaculation.

Both the male and female prostate:

* is a gland, located under the bladder, around the urethra.

* produces hormones.

* during arousal, produces fluid. In men, this fluid, along with semen, travels down the urethra and out of the body during ejaculation. In about 10-54% of females, this fluid is pushed out through the urethra.

* responds to direct and indirect stimulation, and can create strong sexual sensations and powerful orgasms.

 The Facts About Female Ejaculation:

* Female ejaculation is not “more enlightened” than other forms of female arousal and pleasure

* Some women love to ejaculate, others find it draining!

* Some women easily ejaculate, others never do!

* To discover how female ejaculation fits into your sexual expression, focus on g-spot stimulation

Recent Studies on Female Ejaculation:

Female Ejaculation Comes In Two Forms (New Scientist)

A 2014 meta analysis of the research on female ejaculation, published in the Journal of Sexual Medicine, reports that between 10-54% of women experience some form of female ejaculation, where fluid from the female prostate is pushed out through the urethra during arousal. This research also concludes that female ejaculation is a distinct process from the “gushing” and “squirting” orgasms where a large amount of watery fluid is emitted through the urethra. Further research into the chemical composition of the distinct fluids will reveal more about the source and processes of these varieties of female sexual experiences.

More Studies On Female Ejaculation

Penis

Male genitals come in all shapes and sizes – and the size of the penis does not indicate how much pleasure is possible.

The head of the penis is highly sensitive, with about 6000 nerve endings. Uncircumcised men have a foreskin covering the head of the penis, which retracts during erection. The foreskin is extremely sensitive so if you are stimulating a man with a foreskin, pay attention to this sensitive tissue.

The area on the underside of the penis is called the frenulum – this is where the foreskin attaches to the penis. Even on circumcised men, this is a highly sensitive zone and can be stimulated to create more arousal.

The shaft of the penis is made up of erectile tissue – during arousal, this tissue fills up with blood and expands, making the penis erect. Most men experience more sexual pleasure with an erect penis, but you can stimulate a soft penis and still feel pleasure. An erection pulls the skin more taut and pushes the nerve endings closer to the skin – so touch will feel more sensitive.

 

Anal Masturbation

How to Add Anal Touch to Your Masturbation

The anus is part of your sexual system – male or female, whatever sexual orientation you may be – your anus is a central part of your sexual anatomy. The external anal sphincters have one of the highest densities of nerve endings found anywhere on the human body, and those nerve endings are directly linked up to your arousal and orgasmic responses. So if you choose, anal stimulation can be part of your sexual experiences, both solo and with a partner.

Anal masturbation can amplify your pleasure and offer new sensations during masturbation. Many people find the combination of genital and anal touch to be incredibly intense and love the fullness of sensation offered by engaging all parts of the sexual system at once. Other people like to explore anal stimulation alone, savoring the specific pleasures of anal play. You can choose to explore anal masturbation alone or in combination with genital stimulation and enjoy the full range of experiences available to you!

Including anal touch in your masturbation is a great way to start exploring your erotic response to anal stimulation, long before you choose to explore anal play or prostate massage with a partner. By exploring anal stimulation as part of masturbation, you get to explore on your own terms- as slowly and as gently as you wish.

Many people explore anal masturbation by using their fingers to stimulate the external anal sphincter, either alone or in combination with gential stimulation. Try adding in gentle external circles next time you are masturbating and see how your body responds.

Some people like to explore penetration during anal masturbation. You can contort your body to penetrate yourself during masturbation, but many people find this challenging. Anal masturbation toys can be a great tool to explore deeper stimulation. The Aneros is designed for men but can be enjoyed by women as well, and anal beads and butt plugs also offer a big variety of options to explore solo anal play. Whatever type of toy you choose to explore with, make sure it is specfically designed for anal play, with a wide base to prevent the toy from slipping all the way inside!

Anal Masturbation Vs. Prostate Masturbation

Some men who explore anal masturbation want to include direct stimulation of the prostate. It is important to remember that a lot of the erotic pleasure from anal play comes from stimulation of the nerve endings on the external anal sphincter, and both men and women can experience profound anal pleasure without any penetration at all. Some people love external anal play and never choose to include penetration, others mix it up depending on how they are feeling. Check out our article about prostate masturbation if you are interested in direct stimulation of the prostate during your solo sex explorations!

Ready to ask your partner to explore prostate stimulation with you? Enroll in our Prostate Massage Mastery Course and discover all the skills and strategies you need to make it super pleasurable and successful for both of you!