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Let’s Talk About Sex

50+ Free Sex Questions and Conversation Starters For Intimate Conversations from PleasureMechanics.com

Questions About Growing Up & Learning About Sex

  • Where did you learn about sex when you were a kid?
  • What were you taught about masturbation as a child?
  • Who was one of your first celebrity crushes? What attracted you to them?
  • What is something you believed as a kid that you now know is a myth?
  • What were you taught about love and marriage?
  • Who were the happiest adults you knew as a kid?
  • How did your family talk about LGBTQ+ issues?
  • Have you ever been to or been in a pride parade?
  • Who was one of the first queer people you met?
  • How did your family deal with conflict? What did repair look like?
  • What big emotions were safe in your family? Which were not allowed?
  • What were some of your first sexual experiences? Were they wanted?
  • Who did you talk to about your first sexual experiences? How did they respond, and how did their response impact you?
  • If you could go back and tell your 6 year old self anything, what would you say?

Questions About Sexuality, Culture & Identity

  • What do you think an ideal sex culture would look like?
  • Why do you think sexuality has been oppressed over history?
  • Do you think humans are meant to be monogamous? Why or why not?
  • What words do you use to describe your gender identity and sexual orientation? What other words have you used in your life?
  • What do you think should be included in all sex education for kids? for teens? for adults?

Questions About Love & Relationships

  • What drew you to me when we first met?
  • What values are most important to you in our relationship?
  • What is your love language and what are some examples of how you most feel loved?
  • What is one of your favorite memories of our first few years?
  • What about our relationship are you most grateful for?
  • How can I be a better partner to you?
  • What is one simple thing I could do for you to express my love?
  • What do you need most when you feel stressed? sad? angry? worried?
  • When in the past year have you felt most loved?
  • What would the chapters in The Story Of Us be named?
  • What songs would be on the soundtrack of your life story? our love story?

Questions About Fantasies & Desires

  • How do you think about the difference between Fantasies and Desires?
  • What is one thing you find hot in fantasy but don’t actually want to explore in real life?
  • What is one thing you want to experience more of in real life?
  • What is something you’ve always wanted to try but never had the chance?
  • What is one of your Peak Erotic Experiences?
  • What do you think is one of the hottest scenes in a movie and why?
  • What Do You Want Right Now?

Questions To Ask Before An Erotic Encounter

  • What are you into?
  • Is there anything I can do to make you feel safe?
  • Is there anything in your past you want me to know about?
  • Do we need a safe word?
  • How will we be practicing safe sex?
  • What does this mean to you?
  • Do you want this?

Questions To Ask During An Erotic Encounter

  • Will you tell me when this feels just right?
  • Would you like me to go deeper/slower/faster or is this good?
  • What would make this feel even better right now?

Questions To Ask After An Erotic Encounter

  • Can I bring you some water, a snack or anything else?
  • What are you aware of?
  • What were your favorite moments?
  • Did you feel overwhelmed at any point?
  • What was the most exciting moment for you?
  • Was there anything you wanted more of but didn’t ask for?
  • What could have made it even better?

Conversation Starters About Giving & Receiving:

  • What was the best gift you received as a kid?
  • What was one of the best gifts you ever gave to someone else?
  • What is a gift you wanted as a kid and never received? 
  • In your professional life, do you think that you Give or Receive more frequently?
  • What is your favorite kind of massage to receive: foot, shoulder or hand? 
  • Which is easier for you in general, Giving or Receiving?
  • When you are sick how do you like to be taken care of? 
  • Would you rather receive a love letter or be made a homemade meal? 
  • What is your favorite position for cuddling?
  • Would you rather go on a weekend getaway or receive an expensive romantic gift?
  • If you had $500 to spend on a date, what would you do? 
  • If you had three hours and $0 for a date, what would you do?

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